The Year of No - Adrienne M Nixon
The year of no
The year of no
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The Year of No!

The Year of No

Hey guys! It’s the first day of fall. Y’all know what that means? It’s reflection time. This normally happens around my birthday but this year some things have shifted and have really propelled me to make a LOT of changes. 

The rest of 2019 and ALL of 2020 will be The Year of No. 

Y’all remember the Shonda Rhimes book The Year of Yes? I read it and loved it, but I’m going the whole other direction. 

I’m saying NO to putting anyone or anything other than God before myself. I know this but sometimes I forget. I don’t plan on forgetting again. I HAVE to take care of Adrienne. I can’t be any good to ANYONE else if I’m not taking care of myself first. I don’t have anyone looking out for me all day everyday. I’m all I’ve got. Yes, I have friends who check on me  and that kinda thing but I’m it. That’s the way it is and I’ve got to look out for me and be safe. Let someone know where I am and who I’m with. Let someone know when I get home. 

I’m saying NO to anything that does not propel me towards my goals. I have put so many things on the back burner. I have neglected so many of my goals. Things that should have BEEN happened before now. I was so slack. Putting everything ahead of my personal goals. That’s been “casket-ed” lol. It’s DEADDDD. 

I’m saying NO to ALL airplane trips for the rest of 2019 and ALL of 2020. Listen If you KNOW me, you KNOW I LOVE to travel. I LOVE to go. When I was younger my dad called me “gas happy”. I was ALWAYS trying to go with him. ANYWHERE. It didn’t matter as long as we were going. I have cancelled  my remaining trips for this year and I’ve cancelled all the ones I had planned for next year. This past weekend my daughter Jaelyn asked me if I was going to be in the country for my birthday. Oh how it PAINED me to tell her yes lol.  I have bigger goals. I’ll definitely get to know Alabama even better and I’m sure I’ll take a few drive-able trips. NOTHING over 4 hours so that’s limited. Goals tho. That’s what I’m focused on. 

I’m saying NO to people who do not add to my life. Let me explain, I’m a great person. Like all around, do I have issues I have to work on? HECK YEAH and I’m working on them. Identifying the “broken” pieces in me and working on healing.  But lemme tell you this, people are attracted to that “greatness” in me. Y’all remember those old school bug zapper lights? The “bugs” saw the light and would just fly to it, they were attracted to it. People are attracted to me the same way. Now I’m not a “zapper light” but yeah. Same principle. They see the “light” in me and are drawn to it.  I have to create a “shield” around me so that I’m not “zapped” of all of my “light”. Make sense? I’m protecting my energy and my peace. I’m protecting myself. I hope it doesn’t come across as “I think I’m all that or that I’m better or whatever.” That’s not my intent.  I will not deal with negativity. I KNOW we ALL have days where we want to snap on everyone and those days when everything irritates us. On those days, stay to yourself man. I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with that on a daily basis.  You need a person and possibly a back up if you just have to go to someone with the issue. Like seriously. I will do the same. When I need to get it out I know who I can go to and who I can’t. Don’t just dump on anyone. I am KNOWN to unplug so that I can get through whatever my issue is. Tuh.  I have my “circle” that I trust when I’m going through things. They also hold me accountable so I don’t STAY in situations. Basically, everyone can’t and won’t have access. 

I’m saying NO to unnecessary spending. Lord help your child. **FACE PALM**.  I don’t have “terrible” spending habits but I do need to refocus and pull back in just a couple of areas. I WILL have a little monthly discretionary spending for fun things that I would like to do but NOTHING outside of that set budget.  I have a goal I want to hit by the end of 2020. If things go the way I believe they will go I’ll hit it much sooner than December 2020. I’m excited about it. Needs only. NEEDS lol. Let me type it again, NEEDS ONLY. 

I am saying no to ALL foolishness. Ohhh babbbbehhhhhh listen. I just won’t entertain foolishness. I’m not talking about silly, funny stuff. No, I mean people who are foolish. NOPE. It will get shut down SO quick. I don’t have the time and will not dedicate ANY energy to it. Not one ounce. 

I’m saying NO to “NO DAYS OFF”. Y’all can have that. You HAVE to rest. I HAVE to rest and I will.  I work Monday – Friday 9-5 at my day job. Then I come home and work JUST about everyday including weekends. Nawl bruh. That is OVER. I have intentionally started setting off days where I do absolutely nothing or just whatever “I” want to do. This is a healthy change and will make me a better Adrienne. 

That’s it. That’s all I got. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. 

8Comments
  • Tywanna/ 24.09.2019Reply

    I love it! Yes to saying NO! You most definitely deserve it. Enjoy.

    • admin/ 25.09.2019Reply

      LOL I will!

  • Alethia/ 24.09.2019Reply

    Good for you! Taking care of you is a must.

    • admin/ 25.09.2019Reply

      AMEN!

  • Rhonda/ 25.09.2019Reply

    Great words of knowledge

    • admin/ 25.09.2019Reply

      Living and learning!

  • Hattie/ 07.10.2019Reply

    I totally agree with you 💯. Everything you stated sound exactly like me, I decided before reading your article it’s time to start saying no and live for myself. Daily I let my energy get zapped out off me being a great person and it has been taken advantage of. I feel you Adrienne. #nomore

    • admin/ 07.10.2019Reply

      Ohhh chile! AMEN!!!

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